Strategic Business Partnering Today for the Present and the Future

Emotional Intelligence (EQ): Relationship Management

The fourth and final skill is knowing how to manage your relationship with others. As you strengthen your personal awareness, personal management, and social awareness, you will be better prepared to improve the fourth skill relationship management.

Remember a time between you and another when you wished the outcome had been different. Think about the question you ask yourself, what could I have been done differently?î Take a moment and reflect on the following questions. Were you aware of their emotions? What was your response to their behavior? As they were exhibiting their emotions, what were your emotions? Were you angry? Did you feel that they had no right to go there? Did you grit your teeth, clench your fist or feel your heart pounding in your chest? Was your behavior mirroring their behavior?

Now think a recent event where you managed the situation to positive outcome. Again, ask yourself the earlier questions. What was different this time as compared to the time you wished had had a different outcome? You learned from the experience and managed the relationship differently. This is being aware. This is Relationship Management.

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Emotional Intelligence (EQ): Social Awaremenss

The third skill of emotional intelligence is again being aware. Only, this time our awareness is more about the other individual and less about ourselves. It is important to be aware of the emotions another is exhibiting. Their emotions like ours are observable. Some individuals turn red in the face and veins on their necks pop out or the timber of their voice changes. Think about times when you were aware of the other's emotion. What did you see or hear?

In the third skill, you must be aware of the other's emotions as well as your own emotions. Think about a time when another individual was displaying an unacceptable behavior. Do you think they were aware of the emotions? What lead you to believe they were not aware of their emotions? What clues were they exhibiting that led to this belief?

In this third skill, the ability to recognize the others emotions and to recognize our emotions at the same time is important. Have you ever been caught up in the emotion of the moment only to regret it later? On the other hand, to wish you had responded appropriately in the moment.

As you become more skilled at being able to be aware of both sets of emotions will lead to last of the four-workplace skills - better relationships.

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Emotional Intelligence (EQ): Personal Management

In my last blog I discussed being aware as the first of four Emotional Intelligence (EQ) skills. In this blog, let us talk about the second skill knowing how to manage your emotions. Knowing how is a skill many already use. Think about a time when you realized that your emotions were in the way of communicating with another person. What did you do to regain your composure to have an effective conversation?

Did you count to ten? Did you step back and take a deep breath? On the other hand, you possibly ask for a short break in a conversation. To use these techniques first you had to be aware of your feeling. Once you acknowledged your feeling (being aware), you can begin to manage those feelings.

There are many skills one can learn to manage emotions. Managing emotions is not suppressing the emotion or being nice. It is about being aware of the emotions and expressing them appropriately to manage the conversation. As we improve our ability to recognize our emotions and how to manage those emotions effectively, we can begin to use some of the same skills to recognize emotions in others.

Watch for discussion of the third skill, social awareness.

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